Let's Get Physical, Physical

One should know the difference between a Bally Total Fitness in Cleveland Heights, OH and one in Chicago, IL. The Severance Town Center location of Bally is full of fat, unattractive people. It's welcoming and inviting and you feel like you're really accomplishing something while you're sweating your balls off on the elliptical. This does not hold true for Century City's location, which by the way is intimidating on its own. Who puts a two story gym on the 6th floor of a mall? You walk off the elevator and BAM there's the front desk, which is manned by fairly skinny and attractive men and women. You go through the turnstile and BAM 6 or so rows of treadmills, stairmasters and ellipticals. As if to say, everyone else is working out you should probably hurry up and get out here. So you rush to the locker room and put your bag away, get your ipod out and look the other way as you pass the scale, which is so perfectly positioned right by the doorway, as if to say hey, aren't you forgetting something?
You get on your machine and look right up at the TVs so that you don't have to stare at all the really fit, athletic and skinny people around you, and they're all like that. You actually look at everyone on every machine, at every water fountain and realize they're all fit! Not only are these nice looking, skinny, athletic people making you feel bad but they're also making you look bad too. They're all wearing body hugging exercise gear that shows off their tight abs and killer biceps. Where did they all get these awesome clothes? Oh, the Under Armour store thats at the front of the gym. So you feel dumb in your Denison style 'man shorts' and white t-shirt that says 'irresistible' on the front and 'Heineken' on the back.
And after your Weight Loss Program on the Precor machine, that should have been 30 minutes but right around 18 it kept urging you to PEDAL FASTER, you do a piss poor weight training circuit on machines that all look the same and kick your ass all the same just so you can ride back down to street level on a elevator full of hot, sweaty, sculpted men. And you're the ass hole wearing a shirt that says 'irresistible'....

Lesson Learned: Bowflex comes before Bally and Steve Weber had the right idea